Weak Parenting and Perfectionist Expectations For Children
I know a guy who was raised by perfection based parents. Perfectionist parenting is never about being perfect, it’s always about who you are naturally never being enough and that public opinion of your behavior is more important than you developing your true talents or developing who you really are as an autonomous living organism. In short, perfection based parenting is about believing the child is a possession, a vessel for the aspirations, hopes and dreams of the parents…..usually the lost dreams of the parents as well. Most parents literally think their children are their property and have no real interest in their child developing their innate cosmic intelligence outside their influence or spectrum of iron fist control. Regardless, that’s not the main point of the post…..but it’s an important point to make anyway
This guy was always nervous to give “the wrong answer”….and was obsessed with being the best people pleaser he could, so he could make everyone happy…..except himself. He would repeat to himself “don’t give the wrong answer, don’t give the wrong answer, don’t give the wrong answer, don’t look stupid, don’t look stupid, don’t look stupid”. This is a very common repetitive subconscious recording in the mind of the perpetual people pleaser who’s parents always want them to shine bright on the very small socially acceptable stage of slave like conformity.
Parents like this had no confidence in their own abilities to survive outside the opinions, judgments and criticisms of the underachieving masses that surround them and so they downloaded that fear into their child. Into my friend Mike. His repetitive recording in his subconscious focused on the words “wrong answer” and “stupid” and given the way the subconscious mind works…..he ONLY gave wrong answers and always looked stupid, in the eyes of the conformist herd. I wrote on his bathroom mirror and on the dash of his car “I am smart. I always give the best answer. I am relaxed. I am enough.” and after repetitively reading that for 60 days, he became relaxed and always gave the answer he felt best giving. Well done Mike, that’s how we reprogram the subconscious. Parents..watch what you say and do to your kids. It always has to be positive and using only positively charged words. Parents also need to constantly work on themselves, so they don’t download their negative programming into their kids. It’s never too late to evolve and lead the way, regardless of age.