I remember a business meeting I had two years ago. Some business associates I work with near Toronto (3 of them) were concerned with some of my writings and interviews…citing that my truthful expressions may be impacting the business revenue in a negative way. They expressed that everyone liked them but in my case…..not everyone liked me. So I asked a simple question…..”if being liked relates to business revenue why do I have more money than everyone in this room combined?” The silence was deafening…..
And that of course is what drives self sabotage in most cases…….the base genetic drive to be liked and accepted above all else because it feels safer to be inside the herd, as opposed to being outside of it. Being liked by the many as a goal in life and feeling safe because of it is a story and fable we tell ourselves, which can inhibit our wealth, health and happiness. We simply need to tell ourselves another story if we want to evolve into our full adult power.
Wanting to be everyone’s friend in the school yard is the mental adaptation held by a child because a child has no other real way of defending themselves in a conflict. Fitting in, blending in and going along to get along is how children interface with life. It’s a natural rite of passage to move from child to adult….where you’re no longer afraid to use your voice in order to make the world a better place for all. And if that offends people (when you’re an adult) you’re supposed to be OK with it because if an attack does comes……..you can defend yourself with adult strength, adult cunning and adult maneuvering. Acting like a child in adulthood perpetuates weakness, dis-empowerment and depression. Change your story, change your life. You’re an adult……act like one. And that means executing morality, ethics and doing the right thing ALWAYS even if the other people around you would rather make friends with the bully in the school yard.